Tribute.

Well friends, It’s been a while…longer than I’d like to admit, since I’ve written much of anything. Today has been the first day in a while that I’ve been able to properly gather my thoughts and share them with you all. I have been so preoccupied with life that up until now, I forgot just how much this outlet helps build my spirit and give me purpose…whether it’s writing it in my notes or writing it here, it brings me peace and helps me work through the emotions stirring in my perpetually overactive brain. For those that have been following my blog (and are still hopefully with me), you may remember that I wrote an entry on my stepfather George some time ago. I wrote of his courageous journey through cancer and shared his inspirational blog he kept which detailed his ups and downs through his long battle. It is with great difficulty, and I am so very sad to say, that on January 25, 2018, with myself, my sisters, and mother surrounding him, George passed away. I have grappled with the right way to say this and am still unsure I can ever find the proper words. It remains surreal, and maybe it will for a while. Grief works in mysterious ways, and seems to attach itself to many things. Day-to-day activities, music, and the moments when you are just desperately trying to get through your day without breaking down. Grief remains unseen and without notice. I’ve recently had many moments in inopportune places where I’ve needed to hide and just feel. Confusion, anger, sadness, acceptance…all emotions that I have felt through grieving the loss of someone so important in mine and my family’s life.

But…

All sadness aside, George has left behind a legacy, he created a bucket list foundation for adults who are terminal so that they can have a chance at experiencing a little bit of magic in their life. How amazing is that? While struggling with his own misfortune, he created a foundation that could help others attempt to improve theirs. He shared his beautiful writings with the world through his blog https://colontosemicolon.com and as a result has been an inspiration to others fighting serious illnesses, or for any curious minds who simply wanted a small glimpse into his life. I guess I can’t speak for others but I can say for certain that he changed my life, not to mention introduced me to some pretty kick ass music…and herein lies the reason I began writing this entry in the first place. I was on my way to the grocery store today when a Pink Floyd song came on the radio. Like I said, grief attaches itself to many things, and for me this is primarily music. George introduced me to Pink Floyd in my teen years and so, when this song came on the radio, it really hit me….but it also will forever remind me of him. I suppose it’s kind of special in a way, the fact that a person’s memory can be kept alive through music among many other things.

I have felt George’s presence the last while, the sunsets have been a little brighter, birds have flocked closely and seemingly deliberately and I truly believe that it is him reminding me and others that he is in a better place, eating cake, drinking a glass of laphroaig scotch and playing an intense game of scrabble. I can still hear his infectious laughter as he tells a story of his rebellious younger days or mid conversation with my fiancé who was also an important person in his life. They had a relationship that was so special and for the short period of time that him and I were apart, George reassured him how much he would always mean to him – something my fiancé shared with me recently and something that truly solidified their bond. In many ways they are similar and I believe part of George will always live on through him. When he joined my family he became a stepfather, proudly Grandpa George to my niece and nephew and most importantly, my mom’s soulmate. They shared the truest form of love you could imagine.

Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of him, of his bravery, smart wit and sense of humour, his advice, and love for his family. For now, my heart breaks to know that he is no longer in our lives, but I take comfort in knowing that he is no longer in pain, and resting easy where he is meant to be.

In every sunset, in every familiar song, I will think of you ❤

– Amy

And when great souls die, after a period peace blooms, slowly and always irregularly. Spaces fill with a kind of soothing electric vibration. Our senses, restored, never to be the same, whisper to us. They existed. They existed. We can be. Be and be better. For they existed.” – Maya Angelou

Thursday Thoughts.

So we have this one life, and it can change so quickly and drastically from circumstances you experience. It really puts things into perspective when you witness someone you love suffer without being able to offer anything but your unconditional love and support. My stepfather George, is currently fighting a battle with stage 4 cancer…and as expected it hasn’t been an easy road. He has undergone several complicated procedures, and has been fighting so incredibly hard the last year and a half. He continues to fight through the bouts of chemo and radiation treatments that prove to be both mentally and physically exhausting along with debilitating surgeries. One thing that is so inspiring about George though, is that despite the crippling effects cancer has had on him, he has not lost his sense of humour, nor his will to face this battle head on as best as he can. At the beginning of it all, he decided to start writing a blog dedicated to his journey with this very difficult disease in hopes to reach out to others who are suffering or for those that want to simply follow along and learn more about it. And what better outlet for him to have as George is truly one of the best storytellers I know…just ask him about the “hamburger” he had from a rural town in Australia 😉

George has yet to face his obstacles alone and has the support of his family and friends to give him all the positive energy and strength they possibly can. For those of you that are interested in reading his blog, feel free to take a look. I can guarantee you will find it inspiring even if you have yet to be affected by cancer in one way or another.

https://colontosemicolon.com

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I snagged this shot of an unsuspecting George 🙂
Sometimes as humans we take things for granted or sweat the small stuff far too often. I am still battling with this one and try to work at it a bit more everyday. Each of us struggle with our own personal woes but when do we learn that sometimes it is simply not worth the mental anguish that all too often consumes our minds? When do we decide to stop putting negative energy into moments we’ll never get to do over. We need to remember to be grateful, and honour this life of ours and not take anything for granted. Life can’t always be peachy but it can also be pretty great once we understand how powerful our thoughts and outlook on life can be on our existence. I think we are at our best and happiest when we realize that everything we need is what we already have. Happiness isn’t tangible, it’s a mindset, and that is something each and every one of us have the potential to hold.

-Amy

There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be. – The Beatles