Tribute.

Well friends, It’s been a while…longer than I’d like to admit, since I’ve written much of anything. Today has been the first day in a while that I’ve been able to properly gather my thoughts and share them with you all. I have been so preoccupied with life that up until now, I forgot just how much this outlet helps build my spirit and give me purpose…whether it’s writing it in my notes or writing it here, it brings me peace and helps me work through the emotions stirring in my perpetually overactive brain. For those that have been following my blog (and are still hopefully with me), you may remember that I wrote an entry on my stepfather George some time ago. I wrote of his courageous journey through cancer and shared his inspirational blog he kept which detailed his ups and downs through his long battle. It is with great difficulty, and I am so very sad to say, that on January 25, 2018, with myself, my sisters, and mother surrounding him, George passed away. I have grappled with the right way to say this and am still unsure I can ever find the proper words. It remains surreal, and maybe it will for a while. Grief works in mysterious ways, and seems to attach itself to many things. Day-to-day activities, music, and the moments when you are just desperately trying to get through your day without breaking down. Grief remains unseen and without notice. I’ve recently had many moments in inopportune places where I’ve needed to hide and just feel. Confusion, anger, sadness, acceptance…all emotions that I have felt through grieving the loss of someone so important in mine and my family’s life.

But…

All sadness aside, George has left behind a legacy, he created a bucket list foundation for adults who are terminal so that they can have a chance at experiencing a little bit of magic in their life. How amazing is that? While struggling with his own misfortune, he created a foundation that could help others attempt to improve theirs. He shared his beautiful writings with the world through his blog https://colontosemicolon.com and as a result has been an inspiration to others fighting serious illnesses, or for any curious minds who simply wanted a small glimpse into his life. I guess I can’t speak for others but I can say for certain that he changed my life, not to mention introduced me to some pretty kick ass music…and herein lies the reason I began writing this entry in the first place. I was on my way to the grocery store today when a Pink Floyd song came on the radio. Like I said, grief attaches itself to many things, and for me this is primarily music. George introduced me to Pink Floyd in my teen years and so, when this song came on the radio, it really hit me….but it also will forever remind me of him. I suppose it’s kind of special in a way, the fact that a person’s memory can be kept alive through music among many other things.

I have felt George’s presence the last while, the sunsets have been a little brighter, birds have flocked closely and seemingly deliberately and I truly believe that it is him reminding me and others that he is in a better place, eating cake, drinking a glass of laphroaig scotch and playing an intense game of scrabble. I can still hear his infectious laughter as he tells a story of his rebellious younger days or mid conversation with my fiancé who was also an important person in his life. They had a relationship that was so special and for the short period of time that him and I were apart, George reassured him how much he would always mean to him – something my fiancé shared with me recently and something that truly solidified their bond. In many ways they are similar and I believe part of George will always live on through him. When he joined my family he became a stepfather, proudly Grandpa George to my niece and nephew and most importantly, my mom’s soulmate. They shared the truest form of love you could imagine.

Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of him, of his bravery, smart wit and sense of humour, his advice, and love for his family. For now, my heart breaks to know that he is no longer in our lives, but I take comfort in knowing that he is no longer in pain, and resting easy where he is meant to be.

In every sunset, in every familiar song, I will think of you ❤

– Amy

And when great souls die, after a period peace blooms, slowly and always irregularly. Spaces fill with a kind of soothing electric vibration. Our senses, restored, never to be the same, whisper to us. They existed. They existed. We can be. Be and be better. For they existed.” – Maya Angelou

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You Belong Among The Wildflowers

Have you ever experienced something so wild that it was sure to be fate because there just couldn’t be an explanation for how it could possibly happen to you? Me too.💁🏼

Specifically this past weekend. The bf and I went to Seattle to see Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers with The Lumineers as the opening act – our personal fave. And the entire experience was nothing short of magical. Let me tell you why!

The concert was at Seattle’s own Safeco Field and can I just say that this was the most EPIC venue – aside from The Gorge amphitheater – that I’ve ever been to. We were among 40,000 people and it was surreal to hear just about all 40,000 of us sing Free Fallin’ in unison. I’m telling you: pure magic. But that’s not how it began…dun dun dunnn…

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Pre-concert photo – before we knew of the chaos we’d be in for…

We arrived at a time we thought might be early enough…spoiler alert: it was NOT! The lineups were like nothing I’d ever seen. I’d say most of said 40,000 people were in line with us at this very moment. I would later find out that security were performing some new methods which caused the major delay getting in. Both of us were worried and came to terms with the notion that we would likely miss the opening act entirely…disappointment ensued….but….by a stroke of luck we finally made it in.

At this point it was 8:00 and the Lumineers came on stage at 7:30. We knew we had missed a few songs but hoped we would at least make it for some of our favourites. Once we made it passed security, Ramsey took my hand and we raced as fast as my ankle boots could take me – impressively fast might I add – up many stairs and through crowds of people to discover we were just in time for the next song. We were beyond thrilled! And this next song that we had arrived just in time for just so happened to be it…the one…the one I’ve proclaimed to be ours. I can’t begin to express the sappy typical-emotional-Amy feelings that followed. Many months of anticipation and excitement led to this moment and we hoped for nothing more than to be able to hear one of our favourite bands play this particular song. It proved to be one of my favourite moments we’ve ever had together.

The concert was nothing short of incredible and I’m so grateful to have been able to experience it with my person. I gotta say, I really do live for moments like this with people that mean so much to me.

That’s what it’s all about ❤️

-Amy

PS – couldn’t end this one off without a Tom Petty classic:

 

TGIF!

This week was a short one with Family Day cutting into it on Monday – thank youuuu Canada! And thank you to this magnificent weather we’ve had throughout the week! The snow is melting and it’s starting to look and feel more and more like spring which is an absolute delight👌🏼I spent Family Day with my sister and her dog Piper, and the glorious weather we had warranted a walk along a dyke nearby. Sometimes it takes days like this to really make me appreciate where I live, and this was SUCH a beautiful day.


On another note, I don’t know about you guys, but most of my deepest thoughts occur at night – this excludes my moments of googling a symptom I have at the time and self diagnosing myself with some terrible disease that I clearly don’t have(a real problem!!). The other night I was laying in bed wide awake and got to thinking, mostly about my life and how far I have come in the last little while. I have been discovering new and older passions of mine while embracing my true self, but I also thought about some of the things I am lacking. Comparison is truly the thief of happiness and I think it’s easy to say to yourself “why not me?” but this is the quickest way to get yourself into a negative place…and I’m telling you, if you find you are falling into this pattern, do yourself a favour and dig yourself out of this hole. Choose to flourish and let your experiences shape you and consider them stepping-stones to becoming a better you. 9 times out of 10, whatever is causing you to feel this way probably won’t matter so much a year from now. Be proud of the progress and while it may be easier said than done, try to trust that everything happens for a reason and look for that silver-lining 🙂

This is somewhat of a cliché overused phrase but one that always reigns true..the grass is never greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it. Manblog-pics-1200x675-greener-grassy of us search for an ideal life that is usually pretty unrealistic, rather than embracing what we have and allowing it to grow. I think one of the reasons for this is because we live in a world that is so consumed by social media and it can quickly cause a lot of self-doubt and comparison. But what’s important to know is that what is portrayed on social media isn’t often a true depiction of a person’s life even if we perceive it that way. We tend to be very selective in what we share with the world, and rightfully so, but each and every one of us struggle, there’s no denying that, even if the struggles aren’t what we advertise.

I decided to make a list of some things that I am currently grateful for, and I am going to make a point to do this more often. I recommend you guys do the same if you feel up to it 😀

1. My family, whom I may not get to spend as much time with as I’d like, but don’t love any less because of it
2. My health
3. My friends who have become family
4. Grandma’s shortbread
5. Yoga and the little studio I’ve found that I absolutely love
6. All the bunnies and puppies of the world
7. And last, but certainly not least, discovering this outlet to spill my thoughts into, which I may still be a little rusty with, but love none-the-less! 🙂

Till next time 🙂

-Amy